The bobbing feeling is barely noticeable these days, except toward the end of the day when I get tired. Some days are worse, and I can feel the symptoms all the time, but they do not wear me out or prevent me from functioning almost normally. I don't need to take two-hour naps every day anymore, which is nice. Some days I feel almost normal and can even forget about MdDS for a while.
Working on a computer also feels less exhausting, which is good because I am so behind on my assignments right now. Thankfully my teachers were very understanding and told me to take it easy and give myself time to rest. Now I just need to catch up on this mountain of work, and hope the stress doesn't make my symptoms worse again.
(From Pixabay)
The first time when I had these symptoms during the summer, they lasted for about a month and a half. After the cruise in September, they came back and are just now starting to fade. The cruise was two months ago, give or take a few days. So if this is any indication of the duration, then it means that every time the symptoms come back they'll be on for longer periods of time.
It says on the MdDS Foundation site that often people find that if the symptoms return after remission, they're worse and last longer.
So I guess I'll need to be extra careful to not trigger the symptoms by going on trips, unless I happen to have a couple of months free afterwards to rest and manage the consequences.
In a way it's a relief that I know how to keep the symptoms away. Somehow it makes me feel like I am in control of the symptoms. (Well, except that they can come back spontaneously even if I avoid traveling altogether and don't do anything to trigger them...)
Even if I can feel more in control, it still sucks that to control the symptoms I need to give up traveling.
I wanted to visit Japan, Australia and New Zealand one day. I wanted to go to Iceland and bathe in the hot springs. I wanted to do a road trip across the US.
So many places I never got to see, and now I don't know if I ever will...
Oh well. Best not to wallow in self-pity. At least I am not dying from this disorder, and as it is I can live normally when I'm on remission.
For now, I need to focus on finishing my university assignments and after that, perhaps I'll allow myself to wallow just a little bit more.
